I drive 1,500 miles to play golf,
Just to cuss the game.
I play well in Kentucky,
Just to be disappointed in Florida
I let my dreams run rampant,
Just to have my dreams turn in to a 102 at Olympia
I AM THE LAGOON LEGEND MEMORIAL TOURNAMENT!

I know I have plenty of handicap this year,
Just not enough to win
I know I'm going to be MVP of my Ryder Cup Team,
Just to lose most rounds 4 and 3.
I've regripped my clubs or have bought new ones,
Just to swing like I've never swung a club before.
I AM THE LAGOON LEGEND MEMORIAL TOURNAMENT!

I know this is going to be my year to win,
Just to find out I'll have to wait 1 more year.
I packed my nicest clothes in my finest luggage,
Just to have other players make fun of me.
I can't wait for that first swing, that first round,
Just to shoot myself out of it the first day.
I AM THE LAGOON LEGEND MEMORIAL TOURNAMENT!